I hate me right now.
What a killer first line, eh? Have I got you hooked? Shame it’s not for a story. It’s just how I’m feeling.
I had a video planned for this weeks blog/vlog/catalogue. Ha. I rhyme. Anyway, the video turned out to be a shitty idea. I mean, I filmed it, edited, but just…meh. I’m going through a stage of thinking everything is crap and I should give up.
I mean, there’s new bookish drama going on twitter THAT I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH (on the author’s side) and it’s making me so MAD because everyone jumps to the foregone conclusion that THEY ARE RIGHT AND EVERYONE WHO THINKS DIFFERENTLY IS WRONG AND SHOULD DIE IN A FIRE.
I don’t think that. I think if people want to think opposite to me, good for them, I’ll see them in court.
As I was sort of coming around to, this new drama has got me thinking about whether I should even bother writing? I love writing, I want to publish one day, but the way people are behaving, anything I write won’t be considered “accurate” or “represented 100% correctly” like can you fuck off and grow an imagination?
Sorry, I’m getting antsy again. *brushes ants off shoulder* shoo!
So as for my story, my humungous waste of time, I’m at 33? thousand words now. I think. I don’t know. I haven’t written in a couple of days due to a complete lack of mood and feeling like shit, which you can hear all about in my new video going up today. Sigh. WHY
On a totally non-book related side note: why do people think that if you’re older than 20 you’re not allowed to have moody moments and be sad or have depressive thoughts? Like what because I’m not a “hormonal teen” that I’m not allowed to bE DOWN? I should be ‘past’ that? Excuse you, but SOME OF US didn’t even HAVE those hormones as a teen. (I legit didn’t really bc of health issues) so if I’m finally catching up now, that’s not my fault. It’s biology. And fuck biology, that’s what I say. Tomorrow I’m becoming a panda. goodbye world
*tomorrow comes* Wait…what
I’m still human?
I realised for my story that I’m writing WAY too many dramatic scenes – and i love drama, I really do, but man this shit is depressing!- so I need to add some funny moments. It’s not enough to just have the MC’s narrative be ‘amusing’, if I want this to a ‘rom-com’ then it needs COMEDIC MOMENTS, YA HEAR?
I’m so glad I have my blog to hear my woes, because god knows no where else wants to hear them. I made a video about shit that happened this week. I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea.
I apologise in advance.
Um…book news? Um…yeah I HOPE to get to 40k by next week? Who the fuck knows anymore?
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