So here we are again. Didn’t I tell you I’d probably need to do these weekly? Since my last update, I’ll be honest. My words have not been flowing freely. Whenever I try to add more to the word count, I find I need to delete a few lines. So really, I’m not getting anywhere. It’s sooooo frustrating. I think this story is becoming…ugh, I can’t believe I’m saying this…stilted. It feels dry. Something isn’t working (still!) and I don’t know how to fix it. I want to cry.
The problem is simple: I have a very short attention span. Perhaps not as short as my (almost) 4 year old niece, but quite clearly getting there. I swear I wasn’t always like this. I get so bored easily with what I’m writing. Like last night, I had this AMAZING!!! Idea, and so I wrote it down carefully, and had character names and also, haha, this is funny; I put down the ‘cliches’ so my future self when I read it back can KNOW NOT TO WRITE THE STORY INVOLVING THESE THINGS!!! But hey, maybe my future self will be even worse and think “ah to hell with it”. Perhaps cliche’s will be cool? Weirder things have happened.
So I wrote down the names, the ‘do not do these cliches’ and then sort of wrote the plot…and that’s a loose ‘sort of’ because y’know…terrible. Since I’ve read SO many books, and there are certain things (I believe you hipsters call them ‘tropes’) that I like about these books, it’s bloody bloody hard (see, I’m laying off the swears this time. Aren’t you proud?) to AVOID these favourite things when writing your own story. I mean, I’m sure it’s easier once you’ve written a few books. But the problem IS that I also want to write what I enjoy. You feel me? Anyway, it’s mind blogging. I mean, boggling. Damn it, brain. CONCENTRATE!
The issue with my WIP is, to put it mildly, fucked. Oh, there I go.
Also, side note: I’m sick of changing the font to Heading 6 every time I start a new paragraph. >_> WordPress you fail sometimes!
*tightens fists* Okay, I’m calm. I’ve changed bits in my WIP where Jane now is the only POV, she’s met Dominic but she DOESN’T know who/what he is, and I’ve tried to add bits here and there to pad it out. It’s slow going, and I might be about 50 years old by the time it gets finished, but hey…
Maybe I’ll start something new on the side? Hell, I have about 20 different stories “on the side” and none of them are going far. You’ll have to excuse me.
Occasionally I question my reason for being a writer. I wonder if maybe I should try something else, and then I freak out because oh god, I don’t know what else I like! Before I decided to do writing ‘professionally’ I didn’t know what i wanted to do. I tried acting (spent a fortune on lessons) and that went south. I tried singing (a fortune on lessons) and well, I knew that wasn’t going to go far because I don’t exactly have the skills to make it. I still enjoy singing, though. But then I realised I enjoyed writing, and I thought fuck it, I’ll do this for a career. Shame I haven’t finished anything. Send help.
I wish blogging could be a paid career. Wait…that’s journalism, isn’t it? Yeah, I can’t do that. I need a degree. I’m way past the time for that. Anyway, I’m rambling now. Maybe if I write a new story, or try to, I can switch between that and the other one, and perhaps within the next decade I can finish. Oh fingers crossed. Like, toes and legs crossed too. You just go ahead and cross every limb you can, yeah? That’s a good..person.
I’m gonna go now, and finish watching Star Trek (the 09 movie, because mmm Chris Pine). I’ll talk to you next week! (I know I’m writing this the day before it’s published. I’m weird that way. 😀 )
(OR 432 IF I’M BEING 100% ACCURATE because this story has been going on for a while.)
It’s decided. In order to perhaps get a better idea on what the actual hell I’m writing, I wanna do monthly (or weekly…It’s not decided yet. haha okay I’m not ALL there) blog posts where I’ll talk about the struggles, the characters, maybe how far I’ve come along? I don’t know. But I need to vent and figure things out. Better late than never, eh?
Lately I’ve been coming up with epiphanies (hence the title of this post) about my story. I won’t go into too much detail lest I spoil it all for you, and for me, because y’know, I don’t have a clue where I’m going on this crazy train ride, after all.
Only last week I’d decided to change something big about my WIP because I was seriously struggling to find the ending. I knew something wasn’t right, as I was also very bored. So I decided to change 2 POVs to 1 POV. That in itself was a big enough overhaul that my word count took a major beating. I had originally made it to 40k, but now I might never get back there. Despite that, I feel much happier it being only one sided. I found that both POVs, even when one was a girl, the other a boy, were becoming very similar in sound. If they were real people, you could close your eyes and think they were twins. Which they’re not. I couldn’t have that. It was confusing me.
Then last night (very late) when I was getting ready for bed, my brain suddenly went POP BANG SPLATTER (kidding on that last one). Funnily enough it was while I was in the bathroom. You know, the birth place of all ideas. 😛 It occurred to me that I should take out the prologue, take out the fact that Jane, my MC, knows Dominic, the other guy before they actually speak face to face.
Why do so many boy/girl YA books work so well? There’s usually some mystery to them, right? So if the readers already know who the boy is, and what he is, that takes all the mystery and I suppose, joy, of finding out more, doesn’t it? I don’t even know why I had the damned prologue in the first place. I think it was more for my benefit, to be honest. It didn’t knock a huge amount off the word count, thankfully, and hopefully dragging out the ‘getting to know you’ process will *fingers crossed* create more plot bricks…if that makes sense? I mean, I already know who Dominic IS by this stage, as I’ve been writing him a while. It’s not like I’ve got to figure him out as I go along on my, what is it now? 3rd draft? I HAVEN’T EVEN FINISHED THE 1ST DRAFT YET! So I guess I’ll call it 1st draft, volume 3. LOL
My head is spinninnnggggg.
Anyway, now I have that sorted, I feel I should be able to continue undisturbed now. Ha, now I’ve said that I’m sure to have another idea later. Sigh.
When I was at my nieces yesterday afternoon, I mentioned sending some books off to friends, and my brother was all “what books are they? ones you’ve written?” -.- Yes, he’s always making comments about my writing, and how slow I am, and ‘when am I gonna make them money?”
I know he’s only teasing, but it makes me so…anxious. It’s the worst kind of pressure, because it’s not like he’s my editor or my agent and if I don’t finish a draft I won’t get paid. Or something. He’s just my idiot brother who doesn’t understand the creative process of NOT HAVING A FUCKING CLUE WHAT I AM DOING but hey I’m doing it anyway? You get me? He doesn’t read. He has ZERO creative bones in his body. It seems I got those. Even my other brother doesn’t read (and tbh, it’s obvious. he’s ignorant as fuck about a LOT of things). So of course they all think it’s piss easy to string along sentences to create paragraphs to create pages. It’s not. I wish it was. I mean, sure, if you want absolute shit presented to you, then hey, here you go. Don’t choke on it.
I don’t know how to get through to them (and my mum, because she’s also quite “you need to finish before i die, etc etc etc” which I’m quite offended by bc she’s never dying.) that writing a book is not as simple as press control-alt-CREATE, and even if I finished one, there is NO guarantee I’d even get published, and even THEN who’s to say I’d get enough to pay for a loaf of bread?
I wouldn’t even bet I’d get enough money to pay off a credit card bill if I won the lottery. So YEAH, I can do without the added stress thank you family.
So…before I continue to rant and rant the day away, I’ll leave you here.
I actually think I should do weekly blogs, because then maybe I’ll do more writing. lol
Have a good day and you know…try not to freak out too often. 🙂
I was supposed to be taking part in #BoutofBooks18 this week, and despite the week not being over yet, I’m afraid to say I’ve failed myself. I realise this read-a-thon is a no pressure thing, but I rather think I signed up prematurely. As in, I thought I could do it, but I can’t.
I didn’t make a TBR for it, because I didn’t want to tie myself down to anything. However, I had been classing my reread of Harry Potter as part of my TBR. Kind of. I’d even been listening to some audio books, but really it was all rather casual. So casual I wasn’t actually doing the read-a-thon. lol.
I’ve also got back into binge watching my rewatch of Supernatural, so naturally that took over my life. It also cut into my reading, and my writing. So basically, I can call this read-a-thon a fail and I’ll try better next time.
I thought I’d let you all know, anyway. 🙂
I suppose I should start this post off with a list, a monologue about how this year will be different, and I’ll make some resolutions and claim I’ll fulfil them all. Unfortunately, I just can’t be arsed.
2016 was one of my best years, and to be honest, I’m not that excited for 2017. I’m just not. Financial problems have made it so I can’t really do as much as I’d like. I’m still as fucked up health wise and still screwed on the job front; and though I don’t necessarily mind going to the job centre and signing on, they can be completely arseholes when it comes to my situation.
There were two events I really wanted to go to this year: BEA and my best friend’s wedding. Neither will be happening at this rate (though honestly I always ALWAYS hold out hope. Especially for the second one, even though I won’t know anyone there but the bride and I’ll be alone and awkward and well..weird.) and it’s just making me sad.
Anyway, enough self pity. There are book releases to look forward to, and you know me and books…we go together like a bookshelf on heat. 😛 just kidding. o.O
I bought a new bookshelf cube thingy the other day. It arrived yesterday (New Years Eve) and I set it up with help from mum, and it sits pretty on top of…well…other crap. Honestly, I’ve run out of space for any other kind of shelves. At least, the only place I can put anything from now on will be outside of my reach. I am fucking short, and all.
I rearranged my bookshelves yesterday – twice – proving once again that I can procrastinate completely and waste a solid 4 hours if the need calls for it. haha
I booked a ticket to go to the Stephanie Garber and Katherine Webber event in February at Piccadilly Waterstones. Tote McGotes excited, but also a bit waaaah cos a couple days before that is the bookshop crawl I signed up to and while I wanna do both, will my legs let me? (not to mention money)
I got some new stuff from redbubble/society6, some of which I’m still waiting for. LOL and now that I’ve got 0 monies left on my credit card, watch me burn.
I also booked a ticket to go to Telford Fan Zone thingy in May. Of course, it’s arranged by Rogue Events meaning I get absolutely NO notice whether they got the money, my ticket was booked OR whether I actually DID ANYTHING?! It says on the website I’m supposed to get an email saying I have a ticket on hold before payment, but I got nothing. ZILCH! But the account order says it’s there so I guess I’ll have to take that at its word. <_<
Beyond that, my only goal really for this year is to blog more (because I’m paying a shit load for hosting and stuff) and to keep up to date with reading AND ACTUALLY REVIEW books. Also do videos on my booktube channel, but to be honest I’d been doing that more lately than I had actual blogging. Sometimes I have to be in the actual mood to type stuff. My fingers (much like the rest of me) are lazy as fuck.
I told myself, beyond the books I’ve preordered, I’m not buying ANYMORE books until I’ve read the middle shelf on my TBR bookcase. Which..is a lot. About 20. I know, you’re like “but 20 books isn’t much!” well it is if you can’t buy any more nice shiny new ones. It’s depressing. I want to go shopping just thinking about it. (I has vouchers!)
I also need to write WRITE WRITE THAT MOTHERFUCKING STORY FOR GODS SAKE YOU LAZY PIECE OF SHIT! *coughs* Yes, that is what I tell myself. Sometimes. Maybe. Well I certainly am now. It’s getting beyond a joke. I got kinda bored with the one I was writing during nanowrimo, so I figured I needed to change some things. The ending is in sight, but it’s blurry, and my eyesight is shit at the best of times. I want to finish it, and I want to have something I’m proud of. It’s all the things I enjoy to read: magic, romance, sassy characters. Even some mild action (which I’m terrible at, by the way)
I’ll be taking part in as many readathons as I can, though I’m not gonna cram them all in together like I did last time. LOL. That was a disaster!
Anywho, I think that about does it. I hope you found this post insightful. Haha. Or otherwise realised just how weird I really am. <_> I’ll try and keep you all updated on my progress on whatever it is I’m doing. Maybe if I upload more often, I’ll get more views? o.O one can only wish upon a star until it crashes and burns. Ehem! Okay. That’s enough from me.
Byeee bitches! xx
*in a weird mood. please excuse the profanity and crazy talk. love ya!*
Hey everyone. It’s nearly Christmas! OH MY GOD. Can you believe the year is almost over? I don’t want 2017 to arrive yet. I don’t wannaaaaaa!
Lately I’ve been getting into some pretty awesome tv shows, either on regular TV or Netflix, and also Amazon Prime (for a short time). I was going to do a video for this, but I felt that my blog could use some content for a change. So now I’m going to pimp the hell out of some of the shows I love*.
*I’m not at all sponsored. I wish!
Shall we get started? In no particular order, here we GO!